The ebb & flow of life ~ In the end, just Let it Flow

An innocuous visit, or so I thought, to the medical center to pickup my first chemotherapy prescription proved to be a little too much for me. At least for the moment.

As I waited in line, I looked around and thought of the many patients who were also waiting for their prescriptions to be ready. What meds are they waiting for? Who else is here to pickup a 30 day supply of chemo? The pharmacist said "Next" and I took a long walk, no more than 6 steps, to the checkout counter and handed the person my insurance card and driver's license.

I was asked if this was the 1st time I was taking the prescription. When I said yes, the tech said she'll call a pharmacist to counsel me on how to take the meds and possible side effects. The reality that this is round 2 of my cancer fight in less than 1 year hit me then. I don't know why but I was ashamed to be picking up a cancer fighting drug. I said there was no need for counsel because I had already had a lengthy conversation with an oncologist pharmacist a few days earlier but more-so, I didn't want anyone else to possibly find out I have cancer. Why was I so afraid for others to know of my dis-ease? I fought the tears and walked back to my car, where I had a mini meltdown.





















While I have infinite gratitude for my 2nd chance at life, for the incredible medical advances in the research of cancer, for the fact that being diagnosed with cancer doesn't mean start making funeral arrangements and make peace with the world, the stigma of the dis-ease still exist. While I count my blessings that my co-pay for the drug was only $30 vs. the horror stories I hear/read about of cancer patients declaring bankruptcy due to the excessively high cost of treatment, I felt less than.

Reality is, my new normal, my new reality is not a sexy one. I now focus on being as healthy as I possibly can and prepping my body to undergo chemotherapy treatment with minimal, if any, side effect from the medication. I made peace with myself. Everyone cannot cope hearing us cancer patients or patients of ANY life threatening dis-ease talk about our daily challenges. Some physical changes are too much for some people to handle. We may go bald, become frail, may barf a lot due to the meds (it's the oxymoron of curing a dis-ease with poison), experience darkening of the nails, become bitter due to the changes, unable to embrace people with a warm hug because our immune system is at risk, I get it.

My ebb and flow to my new normal is to simply let it flow and let it go. We'll lose a few friends as we heal but we'll also meet new ones in the process. Meet people where they are and simply accept them/us for whom we are. We're morphing each and everyday we are blessed to be on this planet earth and be able to extend "the dash" (birth - death date) by one day.  I'm Grateful for life! I'm Grateful for the new community and friends I've met due to Cancer! I'm Grateful for the old friends who stick by me, no matter what! I am dis-eased not deceased! #ImNotMyDisease #LivingMyGoldenLife #IKnowMyDiseaseDoYouKnowYours #CopingMagazine #NCSD #GodIsMySourceOfLifeAndStrength

In great health,
JuanaBeJoyful

When life gives you Cancer, you...

...fight with God's Wisdom, Power & Strength.

Just 5 days ago, I received confirmation from my Dr. that the new cancer cells in my lungs and liver, were metastatic from the kidney cancer. Most of the research I've done on Metastatic cancer, refer to breast cancer but the reality is, if a new bout of cancer develops from a previous organ/area of the body, the cancer metastasized and the cancer in the new organ/area, is called cancer of the original maligned area. In my case, I still have kidney cancer, even though the small cancer cells (4 of them and none larger that 1cm) are now in my lungs and liver. Go figure!

In my conversation with the Oncologist, we discussed treatment and possible side effects from the Chemo. The thought of putting toxins in my body to kill a disease seems a bit oxymoron to me but that's the Rx. I believe God has already healed me and restored health to my body; however, I must go forward with the treatment. I know God has bestowed incredible talent on medics, researchers, pharmacist and the treatment they've prescribed for me is part of me being healed. I'm not afraid, worried or concerned about chemo but what I will do is prepare my body for the fight.

To ensure the side effects from chemo are minimal and my body responds appropriately to the treatment, I'm making the following lifestyle changes:

1 - Clean Eating. I purchased a NutriBullet Rx and I'm blending lots of greens, blueberries, ginger and the best anti carcinogen, Turmeric.

2 - New Nail Aesthetician. Why? Because I need a salon that goes the extra step to ensure safety of their customers. Chemo often compromises the immune system and a nail shop that uses tub liners, disposable filing tools, foot scrubs, etc..means that my chances of contracting a disease from an unsanitary foot bowl or reusing tools from someone with infected nails are minimal and very important to me.

3 - Yoga. Not only does this form of exercise relieve stress and stretches out overworked muscles,  it strengthens and grounds (centers) the body.

4 - Words of Encouragement.  Proverbs 18:21 teaches us that "The Tongue has the power of life and death"; therefore, I will speak positive words to myself and demand the same of others.

5 - Repeat 1-4 as often as necessary.

6 - 100% Stainless Steel Pots & Pans. I currently own a set of stainless steel pots & pans but the pans are non-stick coated. Perfluorooctanoic acid (PFOA), also known as C8, in conjunction with Teflon, when heated slowly releases a carcinogen. That carcinogen goes into the food, which ultimately goes into our body. About Cancer and Teflon

7 - Live. In spite of cancer. In spite of people's fear of the disease. Believe that.... #GodHealedMe #ImCancerFree #Exodus15:26 #JehovahRaphaGotMe #Psalms91:5-6 #LivingMyGoldenLife

In Life & Perfect Health,
--JuanaBeJoyful ;-)