Orange is the new Pink

March, a noun and the 3rd month of the Gregorian calendar, is designated as Kidney Cancer Awareness month but if you're like me, you probably never knew this and there's practically zero push to promulgate awareness of this dis-ease.

For me, Kidney Cancer awareness is similar to breathing. I'm consciously aware of the dis-ease because of the scar on my body and the fact that it metastasized to other parts of my body and as such, on a daily basis, I put on my armor to fight this nasty dis-ease with chemotherapy, clean eating, exercise and tremendous outpouring of love. Both my parents had/have kidney cancer; I have a sister with kidney disease and a cousin who is in & out of the hospital with problems due to renal dis-ease.  It was during the month of March that I had a radical kidney nephrectomy (total removal of a kidney) due to Kidney Cancer. The dis-ease came and infested my left kidney like a master thief...quietly and in my most ignorant state of mind, with few warning. I say ignorant and few warning because I just didn't know what to look for. Unlike breast cancer, they're no monthly recommended self checks and the symptoms are easy to ignore - but alarms should have gone off when for 9 months, ALL I did sleep...when I gladly gave up my lawnmower and hired a landscaper. I didn't have blood in my urine or a lump on my lower back or side. But, I have every other classic symptom.

Some symptoms or signs of kidney cancer include:

•             Blood in the urine (hematuria)
•             Low back pain on one side (not caused by injury)
•             A mass (lump) on the side or lower back
•             Fatigue (tiredness)
•             Loss of appetite
•             Weight loss not caused by dieting
•             Fever that is not caused by an infection and that doesn’t go away 
•             Anemia (low red blood cell counts)

The American Cancer Society’s most recent estimates for kidney cancer in the United States are for 2016:

•             About 62,700 new cases of kidney cancer (39,650 in men and 23,050 in women) will occur. 
•             About 14,240 people (9,240 men and 5,000 women) will die from this disease. 

These numbers include all types of kidney and renal pelvis cancers. Most people with kidney cancer are older. The average age of people when they are diagnosed is 64. Kidney cancer is very uncommon in people younger than age 45. 

Kidney cancer is amongst the 10 most common cancers in both men and women but few promo, education and awareness is made of this dis-ease. Marketers aren't stocking shelfs with orange colored kidney shaped items, Cancer centric organizations aren't organizing walks to stomp out kidney cancer, no one is fighting to save our Tatas, I mean kidneys and it's an organ we really can't live without. 

Our kidneys filter the blood flowing through our body 24x7x365 or 366. We can live without our Tatas but we cannot live without one good kidney...Living without 1 properly working kidney means living on dialysis. Know anyone getting dialysis? It's DRAINING!! It's sitting in a center for about 8 hrs., having all your blood removed, clean and replaced - several times a week. According to the National Kidney Foundation, the average life expectancy on dialysis is 5-10 years. Getting a kidney transplant means going on a register and with much favor from above, you'll find a match and your body wouldn't reject that kidney - never, ever.

I promised myself to be publicly mute about my battle but I want everyone to be aware of Kidney Disease. I want people to become aware of the symptoms, to become empowered patients and if that voice of reason tells you something is wrong, to seek help. Should routine well-being exam found the disease I battle? I don't know...I have my blood examined monthly and the #s are good but I'm battling stage 4 cancer. Go figure!  So this is my P.S.A. to advocate Kidney Cancer Awareness. I'll slap magnets on my car, wear an orange wrist band and spread the word on this disease. Any ranking on the cancer scale sucks and kidney cancer is #10 on the most common type of this dis-ease. 

In Peace & PERFECT health,

--JuanaBeJoyful

References: 

1 - American Cancer Society www.cancer.org 

2 - National Kidney Fund www.kidney.org

Another Candle

It's hard to deny the immense progress in treatment of Cancer, especially when diagnosed early. But for the countless of us who heard three nerve piercing words "you have cancer" your life is never the same. We want a cure and we want it NOW. As if your life isn't shuck up enough from the first diagnosis, many of us hear a replay and that encore of words simply sucks wind out of you. In my case, my initial diagnosis resulted in me undergoing surgery to remove a kidney and its nemesis tumor, which was the size of a loaf of bread. 6 months later, I'm going on with life, happy at the new lease on life, only to learn it metastasized into other organs - the news was devastating but you carry on because life doesn't stop because of a diagnosis.

Like all life threatening diseases, cancer morphs you into a human lab, where different chemotherapy treatments and radiations are infused in your body for a chance to heal. But for how long? Is the poison given to treat this devil of the dis-ease worth it? Is the physical, mental, sociological and financial burden worth it? I often loss countless hours a day thinking about this. Is the predictive five (5) years of living -- pardon me, we're Survivors, Yippe.... five years of survivorship worth the fight?

I get excited when I hear and/or read of someone (complete strangers included) who underwent cancer treatment and won the freaking fight. I actually want to do cartwheels - but in moments like this, when the relative of my best friend losses the battle, my heart melts. I try to be brave and be supportive but at the same time, I'm haunted by own fight and mortality, and anger raves from the bottom of soul. 

The POTUS and VPOTUS have initiated ProjectMoonShot to find a cure for cancer but 2020 seems light years away. Cancer research has been around for decades and I cannot fathom how the American Cancer Society or the National Cancer Institute each raise a yearly average of $4.8 BILLION  and there isn't a cure for this dis-ease.

We wear ribbons of various colors and slap magnets on our cars to bring awareness and raise funds for the myriad of cancers. Every month is dedicated to making mankind aware of the various types of cancers. We've eradicated many communicable diseases but can't find a cure for cancer!? I believe this somewhat incurable dis-ease is due to the tremendous profit in treating the disease, not in finding a cure. Prescriptions are the vein of existence for these pill pushers, big Pharma companies and they do a great job at giving patients a false sense of hope. Hope that we'll be cured.....for five (5) years.

Survivors are often bankrupt of life. We survive with potential body image issues due to the butchering done to our bodies as Doctors remove diseased organs, tissues, lymph nodes. We're never the same and accepting the new normal is not always palatable. Some judge us and say we give up on life or disgruntle but walking this journey is not one most of us battle due to irresponsible lifestyles. It's a result of years of poisoning our bodies with preservatives, antibiotics, food colorings, air pollutants, etc., and pharmaceutical companies reaping infinite profits by selling antibiotics & pesticides to farmers, which destroy our ecosystem and then rip us off again with prescriptions for the litany of health problems we develop. 

Christy, I never met you in flesh but we share an unwelcome bond, cancer. Cancer didn't win and you didn't give up on living. The ugly battle is over and you'll rest in peace. No more pain. No more tears. No more body invasion by chemicals. We're missing you in person but you'll forever live in our hearts.

In peace and PERFECT Health,

JuanaBeJoyful - A fellow warrior

Yes to Thrive

T minus 2 days to 14 months of saying Yes to Life, Yes to Thriving, Yes to CANCERvive.

December 15, 2014 at 3'sh am, I laid on an uncomfortable ER gurney  and was told by the Dr., that he had good and bad news from a CT scan that was done moments earlier. He asked which I wanted to hear first. I said give me the bad news 1st and he said, we found a "huge" mass on your kidney, which we are certain is cancer. I responded OK and the project manager in me wanted to know the next step. The good news was nearly irrelevant but it was that appendicitis or ..... (blur set in) were ruled out. Yippee, Hooray!

The cancer diagnosis did not shake me; however, I laid in that cold room, alone, with a cellphone without a charge and all I thought was the many regrets for things I may never experience. Things I postponed doing because of fear, waiting for retirement, not wanting to deplete my savings account. I thought of my only child and missing out on his wedding, the mother-son dance, not holding my grandchild, missing out on buying that 1st pair of Tiffany earrings from my baby princess (yes, I thought of that), my fear of rejection and putting up every single wall to LOVE. To die and never experience love....That is when tears streamed down my face and right then, I vowed to heal and to live without regrets, unapologetic and to Celebrate Life every single day, just because.

"No" and "I can't" are no longer part of my vocabulary. I remind myself that "Excuses are the tools of the incompetent" and that, I'm not. Whenever fear or uncertainty creeps into my mind, I tell myself, Cancer has not killed me and neither will doing whatever I'm afraid of.

I LOL (Live Out Loud) everyday. I do crazy things, because I can and because frankly my dear, I don't give a damn! Cancer has forced me to reconnect with the inner child in me. That little girl who at the age of 3 went to school and when the teacher told me to have a seat, I told her no thank you, because I have my own chair at home and stood the entire day. That child who at the age of 16, left her parents home and relocated 4,500+ miles to attend college at a time when cellphones, video conferencing (Skype, FaceTime, etc.) weren't conceptual. I was tough, determined and said Yes to making it in these United States. Yes, to making my parents proud. Yes, to making my sisters proud. Yes, to making it in life.

On December 15, 2014, I said Yes to CANCERvive, Yes to Living because on that day, I realized I simply existed and that made me extremely sad. I made a promise to myself, to walk out of that hospital and confront the biggest battle of my life but while I fight, I will LIVE. Cancer made me say Yes to Life and in 2015, I overcame many fears: I allowed myself to be vulnerable to LOVE and after 15+ years of being single, I said Yes to a date and it was Great, I said Yes to Hot-air ballooning, sailing and going dolphin sightseeing. I said Yes to vacationing solo and cruising through one of the 7 wonders of the world (The Panama Canal) and didn't once fear the deep ocean. I said Yes to running my 5th and most important half marathon just 8 months after having a kidney removed to cancer and knowing that pesky dis-ease had spread to other organs.

So while I battle stage 4 cancer, you'll always see me putting my best foot forward. You'll find me often overcommitting but saying Yes because just before taking my last breathe, I want to smile remembering that I did it my way and I have no regrets. I said Yes to Living not just existing.

In Peace and PERFECT health,
--JuanaBJoyful

The ebb & flow of life ~ In the end, just Let it Flow

An innocuous visit, or so I thought, to the medical center to pickup my first chemotherapy prescription proved to be a little too much for me. At least for the moment.

As I waited in line, I looked around and thought of the many patients who were also waiting for their prescriptions to be ready. What meds are they waiting for? Who else is here to pickup a 30 day supply of chemo? The pharmacist said "Next" and I took a long walk, no more than 6 steps, to the checkout counter and handed the person my insurance card and driver's license.

I was asked if this was the 1st time I was taking the prescription. When I said yes, the tech said she'll call a pharmacist to counsel me on how to take the meds and possible side effects. The reality that this is round 2 of my cancer fight in less than 1 year hit me then. I don't know why but I was ashamed to be picking up a cancer fighting drug. I said there was no need for counsel because I had already had a lengthy conversation with an oncologist pharmacist a few days earlier but more-so, I didn't want anyone else to possibly find out I have cancer. Why was I so afraid for others to know of my dis-ease? I fought the tears and walked back to my car, where I had a mini meltdown.





















While I have infinite gratitude for my 2nd chance at life, for the incredible medical advances in the research of cancer, for the fact that being diagnosed with cancer doesn't mean start making funeral arrangements and make peace with the world, the stigma of the dis-ease still exist. While I count my blessings that my co-pay for the drug was only $30 vs. the horror stories I hear/read about of cancer patients declaring bankruptcy due to the excessively high cost of treatment, I felt less than.

Reality is, my new normal, my new reality is not a sexy one. I now focus on being as healthy as I possibly can and prepping my body to undergo chemotherapy treatment with minimal, if any, side effect from the medication. I made peace with myself. Everyone cannot cope hearing us cancer patients or patients of ANY life threatening dis-ease talk about our daily challenges. Some physical changes are too much for some people to handle. We may go bald, become frail, may barf a lot due to the meds (it's the oxymoron of curing a dis-ease with poison), experience darkening of the nails, become bitter due to the changes, unable to embrace people with a warm hug because our immune system is at risk, I get it.

My ebb and flow to my new normal is to simply let it flow and let it go. We'll lose a few friends as we heal but we'll also meet new ones in the process. Meet people where they are and simply accept them/us for whom we are. We're morphing each and everyday we are blessed to be on this planet earth and be able to extend "the dash" (birth - death date) by one day.  I'm Grateful for life! I'm Grateful for the new community and friends I've met due to Cancer! I'm Grateful for the old friends who stick by me, no matter what! I am dis-eased not deceased! #ImNotMyDisease #LivingMyGoldenLife #IKnowMyDiseaseDoYouKnowYours #CopingMagazine #NCSD #GodIsMySourceOfLifeAndStrength

In great health,
JuanaBeJoyful

When life gives you Cancer, you...

...fight with God's Wisdom, Power & Strength.

Just 5 days ago, I received confirmation from my Dr. that the new cancer cells in my lungs and liver, were metastatic from the kidney cancer. Most of the research I've done on Metastatic cancer, refer to breast cancer but the reality is, if a new bout of cancer develops from a previous organ/area of the body, the cancer metastasized and the cancer in the new organ/area, is called cancer of the original maligned area. In my case, I still have kidney cancer, even though the small cancer cells (4 of them and none larger that 1cm) are now in my lungs and liver. Go figure!

In my conversation with the Oncologist, we discussed treatment and possible side effects from the Chemo. The thought of putting toxins in my body to kill a disease seems a bit oxymoron to me but that's the Rx. I believe God has already healed me and restored health to my body; however, I must go forward with the treatment. I know God has bestowed incredible talent on medics, researchers, pharmacist and the treatment they've prescribed for me is part of me being healed. I'm not afraid, worried or concerned about chemo but what I will do is prepare my body for the fight.

To ensure the side effects from chemo are minimal and my body responds appropriately to the treatment, I'm making the following lifestyle changes:

1 - Clean Eating. I purchased a NutriBullet Rx and I'm blending lots of greens, blueberries, ginger and the best anti carcinogen, Turmeric.

2 - New Nail Aesthetician. Why? Because I need a salon that goes the extra step to ensure safety of their customers. Chemo often compromises the immune system and a nail shop that uses tub liners, disposable filing tools, foot scrubs, etc..means that my chances of contracting a disease from an unsanitary foot bowl or reusing tools from someone with infected nails are minimal and very important to me.

3 - Yoga. Not only does this form of exercise relieve stress and stretches out overworked muscles,  it strengthens and grounds (centers) the body.

4 - Words of Encouragement.  Proverbs 18:21 teaches us that "The Tongue has the power of life and death"; therefore, I will speak positive words to myself and demand the same of others.

5 - Repeat 1-4 as often as necessary.

6 - 100% Stainless Steel Pots & Pans. I currently own a set of stainless steel pots & pans but the pans are non-stick coated. Perfluorooctanoic acid (PFOA), also known as C8, in conjunction with Teflon, when heated slowly releases a carcinogen. That carcinogen goes into the food, which ultimately goes into our body. About Cancer and Teflon

7 - Live. In spite of cancer. In spite of people's fear of the disease. Believe that.... #GodHealedMe #ImCancerFree #Exodus15:26 #JehovahRaphaGotMe #Psalms91:5-6 #LivingMyGoldenLife

In Life & Perfect Health,
--JuanaBeJoyful ;-)